Truly, I didn’t mean to abandon you all, it’s just that there’s been so little to report in terms of progress. Naturally progess slows dramatically as the healing period lengthens. This is a good thing (I think). So, for those of you dying to know how things are progressing here’s the latest:

The foot IS still swollen. SORRY SORRY but it’s true. I’ve been prepared for this. I was told well in advance it could take up to a year for the swelling to disappear. One commenter asked do I know why it swells so much? Why yes I do, thanks to my great physical therapist, Cory. Here’s the deal: The tears in your foot from all the trauma of surgery cause fluid to leak into your foot, which causes the swelling. Only when the tears are fully healed will the swelling abate. And if you’ve had the type of surgery I had (or even less invasive) it’s still the equivalent of someone rolling over your foot with a bulldozer. You have lots of breaks and tears in your bones and tendons and it will take time to heal. You don’t get up and walk away from a bulldozer rolling over your foot in five minutes, or five days or five weeks or even five months. You also (according to Cory) can’t do anything  to accelerate that healing -your body will heal in it’s own time. In fact, you can make it worse. If you push to hard you’ll just exacerbate the tears, so follow your doctors orders and listen to your foot! You are the best gauge of your body and its pain threshold. However, my foot isn’t nearly as swollen as it was -it’s definitely getting better and I highly recommend ‘Octopus’ tape.

My foot still tingles. It still feels weird and I still have very little sensation in my big toe. It hurts to try and raise up on my toes or balance on the ball of my foot. All these things Dr. Nutig says will get better with time. I had my final appointment with him (for this foot at least) last Friday. He took another x-ray and said everything has healed perfectly – now it’s just a matter of the time it will take for my foot to be back to normal.

Stairs are difficult still (going down – up is easy). I no longer walk with a cane. I still don’t walk “properly” though. There’s a definite limp as I try to retrain my foot. I cannot run. However, I have been able to walk for much longer periods. I’m now regularly hiking up to two miles at a stretch. Afterwards my foot hurts like hell but I CAN do it.

My disabled placard expires on Jan. 22  – I’ll miss it! It’s been great getting free parking and parking in handicapped spots. Oh well.

I had made a decision to put off doing my right foot until August. My great friend from Australia whom I haven’t seen in over 15 years is coming to Los Angeles for a visit in May and I want to be able to show her around. I’m also going to a conference in July and I want to be mobile for that. So August seemed perfect to do my right foot. Of course, tell that to my foot. Now that I am walking a whole lot more – pretty much back to normal, save for the limping, swelling etc.  the bunion on my right foot is giving me SERIOUS grief. The more I walk the more pain my right foot is now experiencing. I think it’s reminding me that the surgery on my left foot WAS needed. I’m now remembering how much pain I was in prior to surgery. I honestly don’t know how I’ll hold out till August if my right foot remains this bad but I REALLY don’t want to go under the knife just yet. Dr. Nutig is very laid back about the whole thing. “See you when you’re ready” is his mantra.

So, to sum up. Yes, my foot still swells up (but not as much); yes I still limp (but not as much); nobody can really tell I had surgery now – I appear to walk normally; yes my left foot is still very weak – it’s hard to get up off the floor, my balance is still lousy but these things will get better if I get better at sticking to my physical therapy exercises (I stopped therapy about four weeks ago); the tingling sensation is still there; I can barely feel my big toe and I can’t stand on my toes without it really really hurting. The most pain these days (the only pain, really) comes if I overdo the exercise/walking and it’s limited to my metatarsal which makes sense because that’s where the majority of the surgery was done.

Good news is I’m riding my bicycle a lot – the best form of exercise without too much pressure on my foot. I’m thinking of trying swimming again next week.

So, it DOES get better. Be patient. Keep telling me your stories. Feel free to ask questions and I promise to post again in a week and check in on everyone. Good luck with everyone’s surgeries, recoveries etc.

No new picture because honestly it looks exactly the same as the last picture I posted. Scars are really small and my foot looks “normal” if slightly swollen.

Yes, yes, I know it’s been a month. I guess it’s partly my being lazy and partly the fact that progress is slow and it’s hard to come up with new and exciting things to say. So let me start by saying that I’m still regularly wearing “octopus tape” and today it is ocean blue. I quite like this colour!

Blue octopus tape. Quite a good colour, methinks.

Extreme closeup - blue edition.

While the tape is pretty fancy the truth is it means two things:

1) Now that the weather is getting colder it’s not like I even get to show off my fancy taped foot. No more sandals – at least for now.

2) The swelling is really the BIGGEST issue with my foot. So to answer Chris’s question: No, not walking properly yet but am LEAPS and BOUNDS ahead in progress than a month ago.

I’m resigned to the fact that my foot will swell, anywhere, anytime. However, it’s not as bad as before. My range of motion in my ankle and most of my toes is almost back to normal. ROM is 15 degrees on my left (surgery) foot and 18 degrees on my right foot. So that’s huge progress. This is due to my great physical therapist and doing a TON of exercises at home – and yes, they hurt… but they’re getting easier.

I don’t seem to get too much pain in my foot these days – sometimes if I’m walking around too much I get some pain but it’s mainly the swelling that bothers me. I still can’t put my foot down fully – it doesn’t lay “flat” and the big issue is really the range of motion in my big toe, which is pretty useless right now but now that I’ve got my ankle back working and am building muscle tone in my leg, calf, hips and thighs, we’re focusing more in therapy on that blasted big toe.

I still have those crazy tingling sensations in my foot and still can’t fully feel my big toe but it’s clear that the nerves are indeed coming back but slowly – as predicted. I’m told I really have to give myself an entire year to get all sensation back (hopefully!).

The other issue is the total lack of balance on my left foot. I’m doing balancing exercises in therapy and at home and standing on my left foot (or attempting to) makes me look like an 80-year-old drunk. I think I can go about 5 seconds now without falling over. And 5 seconds is a LOT for me.

Exercise and ice are my best friends these days, but as you can see from my latest photos, the swelling is not nearly as bad. When I do all my exercises – especially heel raises my foot does turn purple, though!

So, this is where things stand. I’m now on land only therapy (no more pool therapy) and actually have only one more PT session in two weeks time. Will I be cured? Absolutely not! But will I have all the exercises I need for my foot to get better? YES!!!

A direct word to Chris: Don’t despair – my foot still doesn’t lie flat 4 months after surgery. Yes it hurt like hell to walk heel first very soon after surgery and I know I cried  – A LOT – but my orthopedist made me do it. The longer you leave it the harder it gets. Take your drugs and walk on the foot. Even if it’s just to the end of the hall and back. Baby steps! I’m living proof you DO get better – but it is a slow recovery process and I’m pretty sure now I’m not going to do my right foot until next summer if I can hold out that long. I want this foot to be fully recovered.

So, Chris, and everyone else. Hang in there! I rarely walk with the cane these days. I use it to go down stairs – up stairs are easy – my balance is shot going down stairs, though, and I use it if I’m out in public  – mostly to keep people away from me and not have them accidentally step on me.

There IS life after bunion surgery. Promise. But yes, patience is key (followed by drugs and ice!).

I promise to check back in more regularly so you can see how I’m doing.

Apologies for an entire month of non-posting. Truthfully, there hasn’t been much to report until now. I can’t believe that it’s now been three months since surgery! Am I now running marathons and leaping tall buildings in a single bound? Nope! (not that I was doing those things before surgery, though).

Believe me, everything you’ve heard about slow recovery is true. I was about to write that I’m hardly in pain anymore, though, but as I’m typing I have a throbbing in my foot where the bunion used to be. Oy! However, those sharp pains are few and far between these days.

I have been undertaking physical therapy twice a week for the past month and last week finally had my first “land” session. Until now, my sessions have all been in the pool. Here’s what has happened to my foot in the last four weeks:

I’m walking a LOT more. I’m still walking with a cane – but not so much for balance any more. I don’t use the cane in the house, but use it when I go out, mostly to ensure people steer clear of me and my bum foot. The inside of my foot still won’t lie flat on the ground. Cory -my therapist – says not to force it as it just puts more pressure on my ankle. My foot needs to learn to hit the floor naturally. Goodness knows when that will be!

Speaking of ankles, here’s what I have learned in therapy: Apparently because my foot was immobilized for six weeks, my ankle took the brunt of weight of me hobbling around in my surgical shoe. PT has been about building up the muscles in my ankle, calf, thigh and hip, which have overcompensated for my foot. Apparently it takes only TWO WEEKS of not using your muscles for them to atrophy, which explains the incredible pain in my ANKLE at all times – and some pain in my hip too. Oh, and of course we’re working on balance too.

It doesn’t help that my left ankle already has torn tendons (thanks to getting my foot stuck in a Ferris Wheel when I was 9 – a whole other story). So pain in my ankle the last month or so has been greater than the pain in my foot at the surgery sites.

I had my latest check up with my orthopaedist last week and he declared the bones fully healed – hooray! I have one more check up appointment with him in three months time. I can also now wear normal shoes and it was a relief to wear shoes that were the same size, finally. I can do “anything” Dr. Nutig assures me except running and jumping up and down (aerobics I think is the word he was looking for).

Scarring is minimal – actually I’m pretty impressed, given the gruesome, hideous thing my foot was shortly after surgery. However, the other BIG issue that makes life difficult is the swelling. Dr. Nutig warned me of two things: one: the nerves in my foot would take up to a year to grow back and they are getting better. A LOT more tingling sensations in my foot now, but my big toe still feels like a fat rubber ball. The second thing is the swelling will be pretty bad for some time, too.

Cory, at PT explained that fluid will continue to leak out of the tears in my foot until my foot has healed from all the trauma from the surgery and that could take another 4-5 months. What this results in is severe edema (swelling) and a “milk-like substance” (thanks Cory), leeching into my foot. Obviously the more I’ve been standing and walking, the greater the swelling has become. There are days it’s as swollen and red and angry as it was post-op, which is incredibly depressing and frustrating and of course painful. Still, Cory points out, at least I’m walking! It means I’m back on a regular subsistence of elevation and icing once again, though.

And this is how we come to meet the octopus. My foot was SOOO swollen and painful yesterday (after a lot of standing and walking on it the day before), that we skipped the land exercises completely at PT. Aside from doing a 10 minute warm up on the stationary bicycle (which doesn’t hurt my foot at all), all I had to do was lie down while Cory massaged my foot and worked really hard to push all the fluid from my foot back up my leg. A little painful, but totally worth it! Normally we do resistance band exercises and standing on my toes (or trying to) before being given ice and then going home. Yesterday, though, he said he was going to tape my foot instead.

This is special tape, cut into weird strips and is called the “octopus” due to the tentacle-like strips, I assume. This tape will last about 2-4 days on my foot (eventually it just peels off) and apparently it does the same thing Cory’s massaging did. It will push the fluid that’s pooling in my foot back up my leg. It’s only been 16 hours since he put it on me but already I can see and feel the difference. I am a total octopus convert. See how beautiful (and funky) my foot looks with the octopus?

I chose black tape. I had a choice of flesh-coloured, orange, black or yellow. Hmm.. next week we may do orange and black  to get in the spirit of Halloween!

So that’s my update. Still not walking properly, but a lot more mobile and I’m driving now (hooray). If I can get this swelling under control and get my foot fully on the ground, I’ll be a happy camper. Lots of exercises to do at home, so I’m working on them. The sooner I build up the muscles in my ankle the sooner I’ll be able to leap tall buildings…

My physical therapist – Cory – recommended that I wear a compression sock. It’s long and white (except the time when the dog grabbed it…) and helps a lot. Even though it’s hot here in sunny SoCal, the sock helps stop all the blood pooling down to my ankle and foot, so I’m keeping a lot (not all) of the swelling at bay.

I’ve now had two pool physical therapy sessions. They are TOUGH. Lots of range of motion exercises and even just “walking” – yes, walking along the bottom of the pool. It certainly makes it easier to do all the exercises in the pool than on land, but boy does it hurt afterwards. After my first session, my ankle was swollen for two days! After my session, the staff at PT do put ice on your foot for ten minutes, so that’s good.

I had a session yesterday, too and I am in real pain today, as to be expected. My ankle is ridiculously weak, and I’m learning from my sessions that my ankle, calf, and thigh muscles have all atrophied in the two months I was laid up so we’re working on building those muscles back up.

To give you an idea how ridiculously out of shape I’ve become in just two months, after last week’s session where I spend a lot of time holding onto a metal rail in the pool while working on my legs and feet, my ARMS were hurting the following day. I’ve turned into a rag doll. Ugh.

Even in the pool my foot still can’t lay flat on the ground. It’s as though my big toe and the side of the foot where the bunion was can’t or won’t hit the ground. When I force it down in the pool it hurts a lot, but we’re working on it slowly. It’s quite extraordinary how much work is required to get my foot back to normalcy.

I’m definitely moving a lot faster these days and Cory is working on getting me to stop limping in the pool. I’m still using my shower chair in the shower (where else) and my foot gets VERY swollen after a shower. Obviously, it’s the hot water. In the pool, it actually looks quite good.

Today, though, as I mentioned, my foot is very very sore. We did a lot of new exercises in the pool yesterday and I’m paying the price for them today.

In light of this slow recovery and the severity of my surgery I’m leaning more and more towards putting off surgery on my right foot for a while. Of course a lot of this is going to be dependent on how much more painful the bunion on my right foot becomes, but I really don’t want to put more pressure on my left foot until I absolutely have to and I just can’t contemplate several more months of inactivity by doing the right foot. Yuk.

My niece is also getting married in Israel sometime next March or May I think and I want to be okay to fly.

I have only driven twice… both times to PT a block from my house. The pressure on my left foot using the clutch is quite painful. Sigh. I know I must start driving more. Phooey.

I’m back at PT tomorrow afternoon and I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, here’s my foot, looking a lot better. Scarring is going down and my foot is not purple all the time now.

Sort of.

I hit the jackpot at Target, managing to find on sale some strong running shoes at only $20. First I tried on a size too big and my fat foot wouldn’t even get close to fitting inside it. Then I tried on a shoe two sizes too big and voila! My greatest wish had come true. I finally could wear “normal” people size shoes. Of course, putting the same size on my right foot, my foot was swimming. So, I bought two pairs of shoes: one in my size and one two sizes too big. As Randall astutely pointed out, when I have surgery on my right foot (sigh), I’ll just be able to swap the shoes. And so I  am now walking/hobbling/shuffling/limping along in shoes of two different sizes. I’m told unless you know it’s hard to tell that this is the case. Anyway, here’s the shoes I now wear. Can you see the difference?

Hey! Those shoes don't match.

BTW, they don’t have glow in the dark tips – I think that’s the flash from the camera.

In other news… on Tuesday I had my first physical therapy appointment at Complete PT. If you click on that link, you’ll see pictures of people happy and smiling. No idea why. Thy have a tendency to hurt you over there!  It was my official evaluation and my therapist’s name is Cory. The first thing he said to me was “We’re here to get you better but you’re probably going to leave each session in some pain.” Some endorsement, huh? So they must have paid those people in the ads a LOT of money to smile, not grimace.

Anyway, Cory asked me lots of questions and then proceeded to bash my foot about. What fun! He seemed impressed that my foot wasn’t as swollen as he expected it to be thanks to my ever vigilant efforts to keep my foot elevated and iced. But I’m truly lucky to work from home where I can prop my foot up and keep my computer on my lap. We did some basic range of motion movements, so when I’m at home I have to flex my foot and point my toes and rotate my ankle (not all that the same time!)

He asked me how long I can stand/walk without being in pain. Not very!

This Wednesday will be my first official session. We’re starting with three weeks of pool therapy (yep, they do water therapy here). This will be good – I hope. Not so much weight bearing on my foot. Then we’ll do three weeks of land therapy. I’m going to sessions twice a week and we’ll see how I progress.

My foot is looking a LOT better these days. Still fairly numb but the skin is healing well and the swelling isn’t as bad as it was. Unfortunately, if I do try to do anything for any great length of time the pain does become VERY intense. The other day I finally cooked an entire meal in the kitchen. But after 20 minutes of back and forth to the fridge, counter, stove, etc. my foot was screaming in agony. I had to take a pain killer and lie down. I’m DEFINITELY not up to cooking a three (or even two) course meal. I mentioned to Cory that in some ways standing is more painful than walking – he said that’s true.

So I’m disappointed that I still can’t spend time in the kitchen, cooking and that I really can’t spend a lot of time on my foot. But the good news is that I now only use my cane when I go out, mostly for balance and safety and to let people know to get the heck out of my way when they see me coming. I never realised until now how much people bang into you or tread on your foot or knock your leg when you’re out and about. The cane is an excellent early warning signal – even if you don’t need it that much to walk.

The more walking I’ve been doing the more frequent the sharp, stabbing pains. It used to be just in the side of my foot where the bunion used to be. Now it’s happening in the ball of my foot, which I guess makes sense. In fact, as I’m lying here typing there are stabbing pains in the ball of my foot. Stop it!

I also drove for the first time. My foot can indeed push in the clutch but it is painful afterwards. So far I’ve driven to the top of the street and back only once. Not too keen to do much else at the moment but I guess I must begin to be more pro active with my driving fairly soon.

These days I’m taking a pain killer only on rare occasions (after my cooking ‘fest’ and after physical therapy), although right now this stabbing is so bad I’m contemplating taking one now. Hopefully it will subside soon.

In the meantime, here’s my foot today, looking much happier methinks. What do you think?

Well, I’ve officially passed the magical six week mark post-surgery. Incredible! And I’ve held off on posting anything until I went back to the doctor yesterday. Otherwise this would have been a post full of “Ouch, it hurts, my skin’s still peeling, and scabs are falling off.”

I was excited to go back to Dr. Nutig yesterday and get my prognosis. I had a million questions: Can I drive, can I walk, can I leap tall buildings in a single bound? The answer was “Yes” (with restrictions to 1 and 2) and a resounding “No” to the third. Hey two out of three. I’m not complaining.

First I had my foot x-rayed and Dr Nutig looked at the pics with those fantastic screws (permanent thank you) and proclaimed my foot “beautiful!” Clearly he doesn’t get out much! He pushed and pummeled my foot which hurt (surprise) but said it was all healing just right. Phew.

He assured me that the numbness, swelling and tingling in my big and second toe (where the tendon was chopped – ugh) would go down and sensation would return. He ran his finger along my toe and asked me if I could feel it – I said yes, but only slightly. Then he said ‘If I took a match to your toe would you feel it?’ Um, yes! Okay, apparently that’s progress. Luckily he didn’t decide to test this theory.

He also said I shouldn’t take too much stock in all the bunion surgery message boards as everyone’s recovery is different, and I had had one of the most invasive, severe, intensive bunion surgeries possible. Okay, okay, don’t rub it in!

He also said it will take MONTHS for the swelling to stop and sensation to return completely in my foot. That’s normal. He told me I was healing nicely but was in the “very very very early stages” of healing so don’t expect too much too soon.

Here is what he told me I can and can’t do for the next six weeks before my next appointment:

1. I’m out of the dreaded Das Boot! Hooray (or I will be as soon as I can find a shoe that fits – the swelling means NONE of my shoes fit)
2. I must wear a hard-soled shoe for the next six weeks – and still walk “flat footed”  -in other words  — LIMP!
3. I must not walk barefoot at all under any circumstances.
4. I should start physical therapy. He gave me a referral and I will be calling the PT place that’s just ONE block from my house on Monday (although walking there at this point is akin to me crossing the Sahara).
5. I can start driving (my manual car) but should start out slowly and have someone in the car with me on the first couple of times and should start by just going round the block.
6. I can go back to swimming AND I can use a stationary bike. Yay! As soon as I can drive to my gym (about 3 miles away) I can get some exercise in. Phew. No other exercise is allowed, though. No running or jumping. It’s not like I can do those things anyway. I’m still trying to figure out how to walk.
7. I can put scar cream on my foot. I bought some Mederma. Dr. Nutig says he doesn’t know if that stuff really works or not but it can’t hurt. What he DID tell me though was that if I go outside and my foot isn’t covered, definitely put SPF sunblock on my foot as the sun tends to make scars darker. I bought Mederma with SPF 30 – how clever am I? Not that I think I’m going to be exposing my foot to the sunlight any time soon.

Miracle cream or waste of money? Only time will tell.

Something I’ve also done is bought a $9 walking cane. I did read on a lot of message boards this is a good thing to do when you come out of the surgical boot, because your foot is so weak and balancing is really difficult initially.  Here’s my cool cane pic. I wanted a prettier one, but this one was $9 and the cute ones were $23. I went for functionality over expense!

Check out my functional (but boring) old biddy walking stick. The navy blue one and the one with great flowers cost more than double. Phooey.

So today, Randall is going to take me to Target to see if we can buy some shoes that are a size too big for me so I can actually start hobbling around. Can’t wait! I was screaming in agony as I tried to get my shoes on and off and had to discard them all this morning, as seen in this picture below.

None of my shoes fit my fat foot! Not even my Ugg boots.

Over the last week, my foot has been cramping and being in pain a lot – and not even the surgery site. It’s clearly a sign of atrophied muscles. It’s especially crampy when I get out of bed first thing in the morning. Ugh.

In the last week all the scabs have finally fallen off my foot, leaving bright, shiny red scars, but the foot does look better overall. Here’s some pics of my newly-peeled feet. That white cream you see is the Mederma, which I’m applying three times per day (as per instructions).

Cannot wait to get new shoes and start walking and to get set up with PT. Then I can start blogging about my new therapy regime and getting back to walking like a human being.

One final thing. I asked Dr. Nutig about when I can realistically have surgery on my right foot, because as I’ve mentioned enough times here I’m REALLY hesitant to do this all over again any time soon. The only things that push me to do it sooner are a) the fact that if I do it before the year is out I’ve already met my insurance deductible and b) it’s going to depend on the level of pain I’m in with the bunion on my right foot.

And here is why I think Dr. Nutig is an EXCELLENT doctor. He said technically, he can do the surgery at a minimum of three months after the first surgery, BUT he finds the best time to do the second foot is when the patient is ready. Only you know when you’re ready, what your level of pain and discomfort is and when you feel up to going under the knife again. Dr. Nutig said some patients are ready to go after three months, six months, a year, even two.

He’s so right. And I’m really grateful he said that. I’m also keenly aware (and he keeps reminding me) that my surgery was so severe. My recovery is not going to be as fast as other people’s. Much as I would love and need to save money and to do this before the year is out, I’m going to see how my left foot is healing and am only going to do the right foot when I’m physically and emotionally ready to do so and I will trust myself to know when that will be.  And it’s not like my right foot will undergo an easier procedure. The surgery will be identical to that of my left foot. For now, it’s off to find shoes and start walking with my cane, and then on to PT. Hooray!

My whole foot is sore now – as if it’s weak or something. I feel a lot of strain on my foot overall – including my ankle when I walk in the boot. I’m pretty sure it’s because the poor foot has had so little exercise that it’s probably starting to lose muscle strength. Doctor says I must wait for my next appointment before indulging in any exercises for my foot (save for wiggling my big toe).

I’m hoping when I go back to see him next week I’ll be a) able to drive and b) be able to get physical therapy. I know some doctors say “Nah, not necessary to do PT” and others swear by it. I’ll see what he says. My inclination, though, no matter what he recommends is to get some serious PT (as long as my insurance will cover it!)

Anyway, the good news is that all the strips of tape have finally fallen off. I pulled off the last two – they came away fairly easily – because they were filthy and hanging on by a thread. So today was the first day I took a shower with a completely naked foot.

Foot is still looking pretty gruesome (see pics below) and scars are very strong. I’ve also started rubbing moisturiser on my foot because the skin has been getting very dry and cracking a lot.  My toes also look like prunes a lot – little scaly lines on them. Ugh. TMI?

My scars are also very sore and sting and feel like they’re being pulled, and my foot is still sloughing off tons of dead skin every time I get out of the shower. My latest issue is severely dried, cracked skin between my toes so I’ve been slathering them in moisturiser and throwing a sock over them.

Anyway, drumroll please… below is my foot — swollen, purple, naked, lots of scars BUT without a large protruding bump. Wow, progess is slow. I wish I had more patience. Sigh.

I cannot believe that it’s now been a whole month since my surgery. Apologies for the delayed posts, but there has not been much to report. I am excited to note that in the last three days I have lost three of the white bandage strips across my foot – one strip per day. I was seriously thinking they’d never fall off. They’ve tended to peel off in the shower, bringing small scars and flaky skin with them (sorry for the gross descriptions, but that’s why you’re here, right?).

The skin underneath is VERY flaky and peeling – like a sunburn (although the foot hasn’t seen the light of day). My skin is still flaking off every time I take a shower, too. Due to overwhelming requests (well, at least two… here are pics of my foot a month after surgery), and I’ve compared them to my right foot – still sporting its bunion and feeling VERY lonely.

I had TWO full days out of the house in the last week – another  work training day and  a baseball game – also for work, part of our “fun club.” Aside from this being my first baseball game ever (thanks to coworkers for attempting to explain the game to me. I discovered that people don’t really watch – they go to schmooze, stand in long lines for seriously bad food and drink a lot of beer), I learned that a day without my foot elevated is a day of welcoming back the purple dinosaur. Tingling, pain and swelling are all part of the experience if I don’t constantly keep my foot elevated.

At least at this training session when I got home the pain and swelling – while still there was nothing like the previous week. In fact, my foot was half the size it was from last week’s training, so that’s good to know.

I am still taking around one Tylenol 3 per day (except when the dog jumps on my foot – that’s happened a couple of times.. ouch), then I need another one!

I definitely have more movement in my big toe and have more sensation along the top and side of my foot but it’s still pretty numb and tingly. I have, however stopped shrieking that I think my foot will be permanently paralysed. Phew. Flexibility in my foot is still ridiculously limited, though.

As for walking (in the illustrious boot), it has definitely become easier. I trot along at a pretty fast clip (for me), but still, any long walk – more than a couple of minutes (seriously!) leaves me in pain and discomfort.  In fact, I’ve managed to get around quite a bit. How do I know this? Because the bunion on my right foot now hurts from all that walking! Oy. I’m pushing away thoughts of when I have to do this to my poor right foot.

I just keep telling myself this IS a major trauma and what the heck do I expect after four weeks? Miracles, of course. Unfortunately the miracle makers are out to lunch for now. I have, however, noticed definite improvements. I’m still taking a shower sitting on the shower chair and I’m still pretty darn frustrated over my lack of independence and mobility, but after a month I think I’ve seriously forgotten what it was like to walk “normally.” Sad but true.

So there you have it. Foot not nearly as swollen. More sensation returning. Puckered, angry skin calming down. Tape falling off. Scabs falling off. What more could a bunion surgery recuperee ask for?

Yes, my toes feel like rubber. My foot feels like rubber. I’m starting to panic about how little sensation I have in my big toe and the right side of my foot.

I know my doctor tells me this is normal, but it still freaks me out. It’s a ridiculously weird sensation to press my big toe and just feel a slight, squishy feeling. I’m paranoid I’ve lost sensation completely in the right side of my foot. I keep telling myself it’s only three weeks since surgery and given all the hacking, sawing and stitching and cutting open that went on with my foot, why on earth would I expect to have sensation back in my foot after just three weeks? Sometimes, this works and I stop panicking. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Pain these days is now sporadic. The last few days I’ve only taken one pain killer per day – and that’s still Tylenol 3 so I think that’s pretty impressive. However, emotionally this is doing my head in. I’m frustrated by my lack of independence and even though I’m now walking better in my funky boot (in fact I’m afraid I’ll have forgotten how to walk in “real” shoes when the time finally comes), it’s incredible and annoying how quickly my foot swells up when I walk. All it takes is a couple of minutes of standing or walking or even sitting without my foot elevated for my foot and toes to balloon up and hurt. Sigh.

Yesterday was the first day I was out of the house ALL day at a training session for work. I spent from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. in a board room. I brought two pillows with me and put my foot up on a chair the whole day, but obviously couldn’t keep it elevated above my heart as I do at home. I had to take a pain killer at lunch time and spent the rest of the day trying not to doze off. Don’t think I retained much information in the afternoon session!

By the time I got home and put my foot up properly and took off my boot and sock, my foot was HUGE. All my toes were swollen and they looked as bad as they did the day after surgery. It was a rough day. My foot was also bright purple – although I have to say it’s usually a purplish-red colour these days anyway.

Also, despite washing my foot every day in the shower now, I’m still sloughing off layers of dead skin every day. Weird!

The little white pieces of tape still haven’t fallen off my foot – which is fine with me. I think the scars are still pretty gruesome looking. Best I don’t have to see them.

So this week has definitely been full of more downs than ups for me. Yes, the pain has definitely lessened, but this ongoing swelling and “rubbery” feeling, not to mention the “stir-craziness” is no fun.

I also hadn’t calculated an added expense I have now incurred. Randall is wonderful, but simply doesn’t have time to take Bronte on the walks she needs. She’s still a not-quite-nine month old puppy and needs LOTS of exercise, so I have had to hire a dog walker. Luckily I found someone I like and she’s lovely. Sarah has now taken Bronte to the dog park two days in a row and she comes home happy and exhausted and thoroughly worn out and sleeps for three hour straight. I don’t know how long I’m going to have to keep up the daily dog walker because I could go broke very soon, but Bronte needs to get out, so it’s a necessary expense. I”ll definitely be keeping Sarah for at least the next week and then we’ll play it by ear.

A monumental weekend, whereby I was finally allowed to get my foot wet. Wow! Such excitement. It was wonderful to sit on my shower chair with both legs in the tub. No more dangling my foot over the edge of the bath. No more wrapping my disintegrating bandages in two plastic bags!

It felt great to finally feel water on my foot. I was very careful and gentle with it, but it was great to scrub off all the dirt – especially under my heel, and remove what was left of the iodine. The little pieces of white tape, surprisingly, stayed on and of course I washed VERY gently over the incision site. My foot was VERY purple, not just because it was still swollen, but probably because it was not being elevated. It’s amazing how quickly my foot balloons up if I don’t keep it elevated as much as possible.

It wasn’t until after I got out of the shower and dried myself off that I went to work, gingerly, drying my foot. I swear I must of rubbed off at least 13 layers of dead skin! It was pretty disgusting, I have to admit. Although, seriously, what do I expect after not having washed it for over two weeks?

There’s lots of dry, wrinkled, skin on my foot and still lots of bruising and swelling but even the swelling has gone down a fair amount since I had the stitches taken out. But boy is it key to keep it elevated as much as possible. Not only does my foot swell up REALLY quickly when it’s not elevated, it does hurt a fair bit if I walk for any long period of time.

On Sunday I had a really big outing – at least in my books. We took Bronte to get washed at “Bark Williams” I normally wash in her in the shower, but that’s not happening these days as I can barely wash myself! She is now two shades lighter (practically snow white now) and smells delicious. Then we took her to her agility class. After two hours of being out I was SOO ready to put my foot up when I got home. It’s still painful (not unbearably so, though) and very tiring. Seriously, even just sitting down or limping around – I was ready for a SERIOUS nap.

I think I underestimated how difficult this was going to be, not just physically… while the pain is now tolerable, you still can’t escape the fact that you’ve undergone major surgery; that even though you’re now walking, it’s at a very slow pace and with some discomfort. It is physically exhausting. The other thing is it’s emotionally exhausting. I think I finally broke down last night, unaware of the toll it’s been taking on me.

After two weeks I now have both my hands free (no crutches) and I guess I thought I’d have more independence. On some level I do. I no longer need people to carry my bag. I can actually WALK to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of juice or make a cup of tea. But I’m still VERY limited. I CANNOT drive. I also have a manual car AND I live in Los Angeles, which means I can’t go anywhere. Not to the supermarket or the bank or the post office or to visit a friend. NOTHING. It’s driving (no pun intended), me insane.

Because it’s easier to do so, I’ve set up my office in my bedroom. I have the right cushions to keep my foot elevated and plop my laptop on my lap. But the four walls seem to be shrinking every day. Emotionally, this is REALLY hard. My dog isn’t getting enough exercise – seriously thinking of hiring someone to walk her – and having to rely on people for so many things from going to the post office to bringing in my washing is really annoying. I can’t just say “Oh, I’ll meet a friend for coffee” or “I’ll drop this off at the dry cleaners.” And I have ANOTHER four weeks of this. Ack!

Even though I threw up for three days straight and was REALLY sick the first week, I think it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve just undergone MAJOR surgery. It’s wonderful not to have to stay in hospital for several days but I think, psychologically, because this is outpatient surgery – and you’re home several hours after the operation – it SEEMS as though the whole thing is no big deal. But it is. As Randall says, it looks like my foot was eaten by a polar bear or mangled by a truck (I know, great visuals!) and when I look at my gruesome foot it’s CLEAR that this was a big operation.

Do NOT kid yourself that bunion surgery is not a big deal. Yes, clearly it’s better than years ago, and yes, not everybody’s bunion surgery will be as major  as mine (in fact some will be worse than mine), but don’t underestimate how tough the recovery is in terms of running your day to day life. I will NOT do anything to jeopardise the healing of my foot. ANY broken bone needs six weeks to heal properly. I’ve heard horror stories of people putting too much pressure and weight on their feet too early and screwing up the surgery and having to have it redone.

I’m VERY lucky I can work from home, and yet this is still tough on me. Be prepared. Know you will need a LOT of help – even if you’re back on your feet after two weeks (as I am). Those feet are moving slowly and painfully and even if you’re lucky enough to drive an automatic car, you’re still nursing a sore foot and your energy levels will be depleted and you’ll be on an emotional roller coaster.

Bunion surgery IS a big deal. You have to have time, patience and a support system to help you through it. And people willing to put up with your frustration, anxiety, pain and emotional highs and lows.

I end all this with this caveat: I am NOT an expert. I’m just me. And I’m just speaking about my own experience here. Other people may have different experiences. Part of that experience for me is realising that I didn’t realise how tough this would be on my day to day life or the emotional toll it would take. Still, it needed to be done and I wouldn’t change a thing (except the type of anesthesia and pain killers, clearly!).  Don’t forget – bunion surgery equals broken bones that need time to heal! Give yourself that time and surround yourself with all the support you need.

Not so great news… it hurt like hell!

On Thursday, I finished my pain killers (Tylenol 3) and as I was going to the doctor Friday anyway, I figured I could hold out a day and get my new prescription filled when I saw Dr Nutig. What I didn’t anticipate was the pain involved in removing my stitches.

Marco – the nurse, who was very patient with me while removing said stitches (I think there were around 20 or so from three separate incisions), put up with my occasional yelps and whimpers. We “took a break” before removing the last two stitches because a) I think I’d frayed his nerves and b) he informed me the skin had started to grow over the last two stitches so removing them would be “more difficult” (translation – REALLY painful).

After he took a break to rest  his eardrums and came back with a bottle of water for me.. it was time to remove those last two stitches. And yes, they hurt a lot. But then it was over!

What I loved about Marco was that he had the same sense of humour as me. He said, “For future reference, you might want to consider if you’re having stitches removed following major surgery to take a pain killer beforehand!” Point taken.

After Marco cut off the bandages (and before we got into stitch removal), I took a good look at my foot. Very purple, very swollen and very bruised. The puckering skin looked very freakish and the stitches, definitely on the Frankenstein-ish side. While I think Dr. Nutig is great and he did an excellent job of sewing up my foot, I don’t think he should be applying to be a contestant on Project Runway any time soon.

The GOOD news (0r bad if you’re squeamish) is that Randall took pictures this time. So, here’s my foot, after Marco cut off the bandages, and before the stitches were removed.

Bandage removed, waiting for stitches to come out. Very bruised and swollen but feels light!

Another view of my foot before the stitches came out.

Before Marco (you can see his leg as he runs away from the camera in the first photo!) yanked out my stitches, he covered my foot with iodine – because, obviously it didn’t look pretty enough! Here’s a pic of my foot soaked (okay smeared) in iodine.

Okay. I hope I haven’t ruined anyone’s breakfast (or lunch or dinner), with these photos. After he finally removed the stitches, he put little white pieces of tape over the top of where the stitches used to be. Dr Nutig told me that these would fall off over time naturally as I took showers etc. (Hooray I can now get my foot wet!!!!), and I didn’t need any more bandages or to swaddle my foot. Double hooray!

Here’s a pic of my foot after the little pieces of tape were placed over them. Randall took this photo alongside my other foot to get a sense of how swollen this one is and how straight it looks compared to my right foot, which is still rocking a bunion. It’s my “before and after” pics!

Dr. Nutig did tell me I need to still keep my foot elevated above my heart to try and bring the swelling down even more. He then told me to try and throw away the crutches and asked me to walk, just wearing my boot. I hobbled a few steps (wow did it hurt!!! – don’t forget I’d just had stitches pulled without the help of pain killers), but I did manage to shout “Hallelujah! It’s a miracle. I can walk!” Unfortunately the revivalist choir was not on hand to back me up with a rousing Hallelujah chorus. Oh well.

Dr. Nutig wrote me another prescription for Tylenol 3, but only after asking – rather ominously I thought – if they would be strong enough? Given my experiences with strong drugs and given the fact that the Tylenol 3 seems to work very well, I had no desire to ask for anything stronger. I must be the least drug addicted patient he’s ever come across!

He told me to work on trying to move my big toe after assuring me that it was okay that it was fairly numb, but that I should not do any other exercises on my foot at this point. Just wiggle the toe, keep the foot elevated as much as possible and walk in the boot.

I have another appointment in exactly four weeks, at which time I hope that my foot won’t look or feel horrible. I’ll keep you posted.

To feel the powerful beat

To feel the tingle in your fingers

To feel the tingle in your feet…

If you’re a musical theatre fan you’ll get the headline and the song… if not… go listen – NOW  – to The Rhythm of Life.

This song, with apologies to great musicals – is being commandeered to talk about my toes. Specifically my big toe, or as surgeons like to call it the “great” toe. It certainly doesn’t feel great to me. What it feels like is.. well, it DOESN’T FEEL. It’s totally numb and tingly and weird and I’m freaking out.

I know I shouldn’t be freaking out, because I think this is quite normal, but still, it’s weird to NOT feel your toe. I think this may have something to do with the fact that my toe was actually broken and a bone cut away and pins put in it… Hey I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m assuming that’s the case

Anyway, I’m going back to Dr. Nutig tomorrow to have my stitches removed and I’ll ask him all about that weird, tingly, toe and report back to you.  It’s also a good thing that I’m going back because my bandage is falling apart. It’s getting VERY loose. I’m assuming that this is because the swelling in my foot is subsiding (save for the big toe), although I’m not 100 percent certain.

I also finished my last Tylenol 3 today. I’m about to find out how well I do on regular extra-strength Tylenol instead and tomorrow I’ll find out whether Dr. Nutig thinks it’s time to go back on Tylenol 3 or I should be over the “pain” hump.

My medical insurance says I’ll get 90 percent of my shower chair refunded (90 percent of the money that is – they’re not taking away 10 percent of my chair!). Hooray.

Am sleeping better through the night, walking more on the boot. Honestly, it hurts. I really does hurt to bear weight on that foot even in my funky low-grade Lady Gaga heel. I’m thinking/hoping/praying it will be less painful when the stitches come out. I want to find out how long it’s going to keep hurting. Expect a barrage of questions tomorrow, Dr. Nutig!

Well, every morning when I get up and have to go to the bathroom, I have to put on my special shoe. It has two Velcro straps and they make that wonderful zipping noise as I open and close the shoe. I’ve been in and out of that shoe a million times since surgery but today was the first morning my dog put two and two together.

As I went to get up this morning and opened up the Velcro, Bronte came running in from the living room and jumped around, ostensibly saying, “Yay, you’re up. Let’s play!” She’s now Velcro trained. Putting on boot = Mummy gets up. Hooray! Smart puppy.

In other foot news, foot is throbbing right now – a little achy – but I’m going to see how much longer I can go without a pain pill. Also, last night was the first night I slept right through without waking up in pain or discomfort. I slept from 10 p.m. – 5:30 a.m. and was SOOO happy. See? It does get better.

Also yesterday I “entertained” for the first time, with friends coming over. Now, plenty of people have come to visit me, but I’ve always been in bed and my foot on three pillows and in pain. Yesterday, however I actually got up, put on real clothes and “entertained.” Okay, this consisted of my friends bringing me food, helping themselves to whatever food, drinks they needed/wanted from the fridge (because I’m pretty useless still), and us watching a DVD. This consisted of me putting my leg up on the coffee table and on pillows and watching a whole (well, most of a whole) movie. My friend Sally brought the movie over, it was film she was in when she was 12  – pretty funny! We fast forwarded the boring bits and I got a live “behind the scenes” commentary. A quick IMDB search after the screening revealed that the woman who played her mother – terrible actress, looked blank the entire movie (even when her kid was kidnapped) was apparently a former Playboy Playmate  (and this was supposed to be a family film!). Oh well, she did look pretty…

Here’s a clip I found online of my friend Sally Boyden in The Little Dragons (apparently renamed the Karate Kids U.S.A.). It was fun to watch it with her and took my mind off my foot – which right now is horribly itchy!

So, I’m glad to be returning to “normal,” I did go get my hair washed and dried at the hairdresser yesterday too, which was lovely but was exhausted and in pain after not being able to keep my foot elevated most of the time.

Hmm… today I started having a LOT of pain in my foot. I think I may have overdone it last night. I stood on my foot (in my boot) balanced by my crutches and cleaned out the fridge. It took about 45 minutes and I think I’m paying for it today.

I’ve been having sharp, stabbing pains where my bunion used to be, as well as twingy, tingly pains in my big toe. I put this down to “healing” but those pains remind me of the pain I was in pre bunion surgery.

Apparently this is perfectly normal, and I’m sure a pain killer will sort it out, but those pain pills terrify me. I’m a lightweight on drugs (in case you haven’t noticed) and while, unlike Morphine and Percocet, which both make me feel freaked out an dizzy, the Tylenol 3 doesn’t have those side effects. However it does seriously knock me out and I’m tired of being.. well… tired.

I’m incredibly lucky that as an online news editor I get to work from home (or coffee shops, or wherever) and I can prop myself up in bed and type away on the company laptop. However, it hasn’t stopped me from keeling over and falling asleep about an hour after I take my pills.

Also, today was the first day that the pills didn’t really work. While the Tylenol 3 numbed the pain somewhat, it was still fairly intense. Not unbearable by any means, but definite pain. This means, regular Tylenol won’t cut it, so I may have to pop another one (it’s now over 4 hours since I took the last one) and hope that that works. And try and do as much work as possible before I keel over.

Plus today has been a “Big” day for me. Randall drove to me the hairdresser, where for the grand sum of $10 I had my very long, very thick hair washed and blow-dried for the first time since the day before surgery – so that’s 11 days!!! (but who’s counting) since I’ve had clean hair. ugh. Now though, I feel wonderful. I can’t wait until I can actually wash my hair by myself in the shower, but I fear that’s a ways off – I’ll probably be back at the hairdresser’s next week.

Yesterday was a “Big” day too. My first real “outing” since surgery. Randall and I took my 8-month-old Golden Retriever to her Agility 2 class. She’s been in puppy agility since she was 3 months old and has now graduated. I couldn’t do the course – obviously – but I got to watch her and she was wonderful.

Drugs or no drugs, I’ve noticed that these “outings” really tire me out and although I can now walk on my boot it IS still painful. Clearly this is not a quick fix recovery period. I’ve heard of people who have jumped in with both feet – so to speak – and started walking before they were supposed to. I’m doing everything by the book. I’ve braced myself for a slow recovery – I’m told six weeks before I’ll be in a “real” shoe, and I don’t want to do ANYTHING to screw up the surgery.

Right now, it’s really important that my big and second toe are kept separated – by a HUGE piece of gauze and I don’t do anything to jeopardise the healing in my big toe or allowing it to drift back towards the second toe (even though it’s screwed in tight with – yes – a screw).

So, I’m taking it slowly and trying not to think this is only ONE foot and I need to do the other at some point. But, for now, one day at a time…

I’m now getting sharp, stabbing pains in the place where my bunion used to be. Actually, it feels exactly like the pain in my bunion when it WAS there. What’s up with that? Randall surmised that perhaps it’s “phantom pain.” I said I didn’t think so. Rather, it’s probably because that bone was CHOPPED OFF and then my foot was STITCHED UP!

Anyway, it IS bearable, nothing like the initial pain following surgery, but I wish it wouldn’t hurt so much. I’ve also slowly started walking on the boot with crutches. I still feel like my foot is very “tight” and I can feel the stitches pulling mid-foot. Again, painful, but bearable.

However, the big news is, last night – actually VERY late last night, there was a new symptom. I couldn’t sleep and landed up spending four hours doing the final edits on my novel (you can read all about that here), and suddenly it was almost midnight. As I tried to drift off to sleep my entire foot started ITCHING like crazy. I thought I would go mad! I wanted to rip all the bandages off and scratch and scratch and scratch. I’ve heard of people in plaster casts with broken limbs feeling the need to scratch and reaching out for the nearest knitting needle (because everyone has one of those lying around, right?) and going to town.

My problem was – no knitting needle and absolutely couldn’t do so if I wanted as I have three sets of STITCHES in my foot. Oy! I think the horrible itching means I’m “healing” but boy – why did no one warn me of this new development?

Today I took my first “real” shower. No stupid sponge bath. Hooray! Randall went out and got me a shower chair and I was able to leisurely (okay, awkwardly), sit on my grey shower chair (why they didn’t have them in purple is beyond me…) and actually wash myself like a real human being. My foot wrapped in its bandage with two plastic bags dangled outside the bathtub as I washed at my leisure.

There’s nothing quite like feeling shower water sluicing over your body after 8 days of sponge baths only. I placed all my shower paraphernalia including the shower nozzle at arm’s reach and had a thoroughly good soak. Wow. I feel great! It did put some pressure on my foot – holding it outside the bath and it was quite sore afterwards, but totally worth it. A pain killer helped, too.

Look at my great shower chair!

Maybe they'll make them in funky colours one day.

Granted I still can’t wash my own hair. It’s way too long and thick but on Monday my plan is to have Randall drive me to my hairdresser’s, which I normally would be able to walk to (it’s up the road) and have them wash and blow dry my hair. It’s now also 9 days since I’ve washed my hair. Yuk!

Speaking of driving, Randall also picked up for my my temporary disabled placard, so now he’ll be able to drive me places and I can get out at the front door. Hooray!!!! The placard is for six months – valid until Jan 23, 2012, which is even more incentive to get both feet done before the year is out. But one day at a time.

My shower chair may not have been purple, but my parking placard is red! See? Permanent disability get the blue ones. Temporary = red. I like red!

My temporary disabled parking placard.

Oh, and the “big” news of the day yesterday? Brace yourselves. It only took an entire week, but I finally had my first post-op bowel movement. Too much information? Not really. Apparently it’s normal for it to take a few days following surgery for this monumental achievement and I’m grateful that I’m “regular” again. I was starting to worry!

Which reminds me, I FREAKED OUT the day of the surgery when I could not pee at all -but apparently that takes a few days too. Everything in small increments. It’s also totally normal. It took a while before that was back to normal too – several days.

Finally, in other good news, last night was the first night I was actually HUNGRY. I mean stomach-growling-hungry. What  a relief. Three days of throwing up, three days of nibbling food because I HAD to, not because I wanted to, I thought I’d never want to eat again. But Day 7 apparently was magic day. My appetite is returning. I’d love to weigh myself to see how much weight I lost over the past week as I’m pretty sure it was a bit, but because I can’t put weight on my foot I have no way of checking this on the scales! Oh well…

I cannot believe that it’s been a whole week since my surgery. Incredible, but true. It’s officially 9:37 a.m., which means I was probably just waking up from surgery this time last week. What a difference a week makes!

I’m now down to taking Tylenol 3 just 2-3 times per day depending on the pain levels. Pretty impressive, no? As promised to Dr. Nutig, I’ve started VERY SLOWLY – using the crutches to walk with the boot. It’s slow going and kind of painful but as he pointed out “The aim is for you to actually walk, that’s what your feet are designed for!”

Can I just put in a good word for Dr. Nutig? He’s one of those “older” (maybe 60s or 70s – who knows?) surgeons that makes me feel safe and comforted. I like a doctor who has been working for years and I have no desire to be operated on by a 27-year-old who looks 16. (with apologies to Doogie Howser, but Neil Patrick Harris did turn out to be one heck of a cool adult).

Nope, Dr. Nutig, has that good old-fashioned bedside manner (okay now I sound like I was born at the turn of the 20th century), but I hope you know what I mean. At least if you’re over 35 you probably do. Dr. Nutig is calm, collected, smart, savvy and speaks with authority and wisdom but with zero arrogance or cockiness, very easy to find out here in La La Land. Okay, end of praiseworthy diatribe.

It still hurts like crazy to do the small amount of “walking” on my foot that’s required, but I’m getting used to it. And given the pain I was in this time last week, this seems like a walk (no pun intended) in the park.

I’m looking forward to going on my first “outing” on Sunday – Bronte (my dog) has her agility class. Obviously I won’t be running the course with her this week – Randall will be in charge, but I’ll get to go watch. Yippee.

Just spoke to Dr. Nutig’s secretary this morning and he said he put my placard letter for a handicapped decal in the mail yesterday along with a letter allowing me to purchase a discounted shower chair through my medical insurance. Can’t WAIT to take a proper shower. The sponge baths are a bit of a nuisance. Plus how clean can you REALLY get?

I’m eating better and thinking that today will be the first day of something v. important. More on that later when/if it happens…

The swelling was going down somewhat, although I was seeing nice, funky bruising move up my leg. My big toe didn’t look so much like a huge sausage anymore and didn’t feel like a huge rubber ball when I prodded it. The sensation that my foot was being split in two was slowly diminishing.

I also indulged in my first real “wash” – a sponge bath. How delicious. I actually didn’t smell like a dying, rancid animal anymore. I wanted to look (and smell) my best for Wednesday’s appointment with Dr. Nutig, where he planned on changing the dressing.

I was still eating very little. I think my stomach shrunk over the last several days and I was terrified of throwing up again. I was eating enough soup, juice, plain crackers etc. to line my stomach so as not to get sick from the pain meds. Also, my blessed synagogue community had been showing up with enough food to feed an army (it’s what Jews do – feed you!) even though I couldn’t eat. Still, I nibbled on some great home made veggie chili (I’m vegetarian), some pasta (yes, with pesto!), and  some banana.

I was so excited Wednesday morning to get out of the house and go to the doctor. I felt like I had been trapped in prison. A trip to the ER on Sunday didn’t count! I wanted fresh air and to see streets – rather than the four walls of my bedroom!

Randall drove me to the doctor and I had planned on taking photos of my foot when the bandages were removed but Randall stepped out to make a phone call and took my handbag with my iPhone with it, so he wasn’t around for the great reveal, and neither was my camera. Rats. Oh well, next time.

First the nurse cut off the ten tonnes of bandages, which revealed gauze with lots of dried blood from the surgery. Then she removed that to show a fat, pudgy foot with three superb scars and lots of fun bruising. My foot felt so light that I thought it would float away!

The truth is that reveal was incredibly emotional. I started to cry. Not because the foot was ugly – I was surprised at how unintimidating the scars were, and certainly not because I missed my bunion (good riddance to bad rubbish I say), but looking down at my STRAIGHT foot, I didn’t recognise it. It didn’t look like me! I’ve had these bunions since I was a kid and there was a huge disconnect. I felt like I was looking at someone else’s body. A strange sensation indeed and it made my cry.

I got over it though and admired Dr.Nutig’s handiwork. Then it was off to x-ray the foot. The nurse was wonderful at guiding my naked, purple foot as I sat in the wheelchair through the corridors, terrified she’d hit a doorjamb – but it never happened. She’s a pro.

Back in the room, Dr. Nutig came in, looked at my foot and asked how my “Frankenstein” foot felt! He was right, the stitches were a bit gruesome, but I was fine with it. He showed me the x-rays and my beautiful new foot along with the screw inside it that is permanent. He said it’s buried deep in the bone so apparently I won’t beep when I go through x-rays at the airport. Hope he’s right!

He was very pleased with his handiwork and said it should be beautiful when done. He also assured me when we do the right foot (I can’t even THINK about that right now), he’ll make sure to adjust meds accordingly so I don’t have such a horrible reaction and spend three days throwing up.

He then rebandaged my foot with a much smaller dressing after asking the nurse for some “four by fours.” Apparently, these are bandages, not planks of wood. Phew. He told me to start walking with the boot using the crutches after assuring me that my stitches would not rip and my foot would not split (my fears that I articulated out loud to him).

I’m on this smaller dressing for another 10 days, then it’s back to Dr. Nutig to remove the stitches. In the meantime I’m still not allowed to get my foot or the bandages wet so it’s off to get a shower chair so I can still take a shower and keep my foot safe.  Apparently my insurance will cover this chair and I’m also going to get a handicap parking permit for the six weeks I’ll be off this foot so people can drive me places in my car.

I headed home with a much lighter foot and a resolve to walk on the shoe with the crutches, even though the shoe feels weird (it’s designed to make you walk on your heel only), and it still hurts to put pressure on it. Still, one day at a time. I’ll keep you posted.

The best news is that it was so much easier to sleep last night with all that weight off. Hooray!

Here’s my newly-bandaged foot with less dressing. I promise to take pics next Friday when the stitches come out.

My foot feels so much lighter - but nowhere near ready to do pirouettes.

By the time I got to Cedars Sinai my pain was an "11"

NB: THROUGHOUT ALL THESE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS I WAS ALSO KEEPING MY FOOT ELEVATED AT ALL TIMES – ABOVE MY HEART – AND ICING THE POOR THING  NON-STOP.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I threw up well into Friday night. Not fun. The pain in my foot was excruciating (probably not helped by the fact that I wasn’t keeping my pain meds down). However, sometime around 8 p.m. my stomach said “Enough!” and settled down. What a relief!

Luckily (or not) I was not hungry at all. I still tried to eat crackers, jelly (jell-o as you Americans are wont to call it), and drink ginger ale. Hmmm….

Still, I woke every four hours (actually more often than that), convinced I was a junkie. Definitely needed the pain meds on a regular basis. It’s almost as if the pain began wearing off around 3 hours and 45 minutes and I’d find ways to count down the last 15 minutes before I could take another pain pill. What was the pain like? Hmm… It felt like my foot was being pulled apart. I could swear my stitches were splitting (they weren’t but I have a vivid imagination) and most of all the “phantom pain” of intense sharp stabs and continuous throbbing in the place where my bunion once was. Oh joy.

Still, I kept the pain at bay throughout Friday night and well into Saturday morning. Saturday, I only threw up once. Hooray for me! I remember very little, mostly waiting for the next “drug fix,” and trying to eat but feeling nauseated most of the time.  By Saturday night I was VERY queasy, despite doing my best to keep food down.

During my “okay” period on Saturday, Dr. Nutig called to tell me in a jolly voice how WELL the surgery had gone and that he was very impressed, had achieved everything he set out to do and I would be delighted with my beautiful, new foot. Yeah? Not today, mate.

He also gave me an ominous warning: The first 48-72 hours I would be in some pretty extensive pain. I know, it seems obvious if your foot has been chopped, hacked, resectioned etc. that you’d be in intense pain, but somehow that part of your brain switches off when you’re contemplating surgery….

Early Sunday morning things took a turn for the worse. I threw up three times in the space of an hour. Now, I was no longer keeping my pain meds down, and I couldn’t even swallow a sip of water without throwing that up too. The combination of the vomiting and the excruciating pain did me in. I cried like a baby (in between throwing up into a conveniently placed bucket alongside my bed).

Despite my dear friend and neighbor Randall’s coaxing throughout the weekend that I was feeling nauseated because I wasn’t eating, I wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him, no, the reason I wasn’t EATING was because I was NAUSEATED… oh and throwing up!

Clearly by Sunday morning, things were dire. When I could NOT stop retching even though there was nothing left inside me and the pain in my foot threatened to have me commit a homicide that a jury would surely acquit me of knowing the extensive pain I was in, Randall made an executive decision to take me to Cedars Sinai emergency room. I was clearly dehydrated and unable to think coherently due to the pain. And so, off we went – me with  a plastic bag in hand in case I decided to puke in the car (luckily I didn’t).

Waiting to be triaged in the ER was the worst wait I can remember. I was CRYING I was in so much pain and still retching. After finally being taken into a bed, the nurse was very quick to come in as was the doctor and hook me up to 2 litres of saline to rehydrate me and pump me full of morphine and anti-nausea medication. They infused the morphine slowly – FOUR separate bags over a period of about 4-5 hours. What did this mean? A) I didn’t puke but B) a LONG time before the horrific pain in my foot began to subside even a little.

The doctor changed my take home pain meds to Tylenol – 3. This is apparently Tylenol with codeine and not the third installment in some blockbuster movie, which is good. I didn’t even know there was a Tylenol 1 let alone a sequel. Usually a third installment of any film sucks, but I was happy to go home with meds that weren’t going to make me puke my guts out.

However, I was warned that the nausea might last some time and was given two separate nausea medications, one orally and the other — yes, not to put too fine a point on it – as suppositories. I figured once I got home pumped full of pain meds and saline I’d feel better. I was wrong.

I managed to eat a banana and some red jelly and felt vaguely okay until about two hours later when I threw it all up. I couldn’t believe it! Hadn’t I been cured by the ER gods? I guess not. I also had the beginnings of a major headache that threatened to split my head in two. I lay – well into the night – with cold compresses on my head and woke the next morning with yet another (or the same) splitting headache. I finally fell asleep though on Sun night by using the suppositories – the waves of nausea abated v quickly.

Mon morning another non-oral nausea tab helped, and I was FINALLY on the road to recovery. Nausea abated, puking stopped and I knew I was on the mend because I suddenly felt the pain under my armpits from using the crutches, the incredibly sore stomach muscles… who needs an ab machine or sit ups when you can just puke your way for three days straight to a six-pack?  I also felt the pain of a HUGE bruise forming just above my left wrist where I had fallen over on my way to the bathroom at some point on Sunday evening. Yeah, it had definitely been a rough weekend.

Monday morning I also received a chirpy call from the nurses at the surgery center asking how I was doing? I let forth, not holding back on how “well” I had been recuperating. She sympathised and said it’s not common but there are a few people who do not respond well to anesthesia. Hey! Guess who falls into that category? Why do I have to be part of that “special” group? Sigh.  She did suggest I drink Pedialite – to get the electrolytes back in my system from all the throwing up.

Let me pause here to say to all parents, do you have any idea how bad this stuff tastes? Do you really give this sickly sweet syrupy drink to your kids? Ugh. Still, I bore it with good grace, especially as my foot had now started cramping and my big toe – coddled though it was in cotton bandaging – was seizing with alarming regularity. NOT fun. Randall concluded it was because I was electrolyte low and stocked up on Pedia-shite – I mean lite… Phooey.

On pain meds but a whole lot happier. Whee!!! Floaty drugs...

The GOOD – no, GREAT news was that Dr. Nutig was right. Fri, Sat, Sun were so incredibly painful. My foot was in agony (and remember, multiplied x 17 because I wasn’t keeping pain meds down at one point), but by Monday it was as if the sun had come out. I was on the Tylenol (sequel) 3 and the pain was actually tolerable. It seems getting past those first 72 hours was key and then things would be a whole lot less painful.

I know this blog is hard to read. I don’t want to sugar coat what I went through those first few days. However, I AM the exception to the rule. Most people do NOT have such extreme anesthesia reactions and they don’t land up dehydrated and screaming in agony in the ER. If you take your pain meds regularly and have no adverse reaction to them then you’ll make it through those first few days just fine.

My swaddled foot - post op. Note those yellow streaks are not a bad home tan - it's iodine to help stop infection post op.

Friday, July 15, I was scheduled to rock up to the La Peer Surgery Center in Beverly Hills at 5:30 a.m. Really? Isn’t that a somewhat hellacious hour? Then again, when IS a good hour to have your bones sawed off? Probably never. Anyway, I figured that if I were Dr. Nutig’s first patient of the day that was a GOOD thing. Surgery was scheduled for 6:30 a.m. The 5:30 a.m. start was to fill in all those forms where you say “If I die while on the operating table it’s not your fault and my dog can’t sue you for emotional distress…”

FYI – My dog has her own blog here.

Bronte - my "emotionally distressed" puppy.

Bronte beside herself with despair.

I’d made sure to have my “last meal” the night before at a fancy Italian restaurant. I could die happy having eaten pasta with pesto sauce….

They were all VERY nice at the center, even when asking for my $491 co-pay.

I was called into the surgery center, and told to put on those funny gowns, hats, and booties and pee into a plastic cup “for a pregnancy test..”

I waddled off to the “bed” waiting for me, while the nurse prepped me with my IV and we waited for the doctor and the anesthesiologist to show up. Dr. Nutig showed up bright and perky. “Are you good?” he said. “Are YOU good?” I replied. “Yes,” he said. “Then so am I,” I replied, noting that HE was the one doing the heavy lifting here. He said “Did you have a hearty breakfast?” I said “No” (as per doctors orders) and he said “excellent!”

Next up, the anesthesiologist whom I explained to very clearly that in my last surgery almost 20 years ago, I’d had an epileptic seizure while on the operating table (I had childhood epilepsy), so he probably didn’t want to screw up the drugs unless they all wanted a HUGE shock, mid surgery.

Then it was off to be wheeled into the operating theatre, where I was told they would put a tube in my throat to breathe once I was asleep. “As long as it’s after I’m asleep, knock yourself out,” I said. I guess they then knocked me out. I remember them saying “We’re going to put some medication in your IV to make you sleepy.” That’s all I remember.

I woke up two hours later in quite a bit of pain and a VERY itchy nose… they were removing the plastic breathing mask from my face, which apparently can be quite itchy. Who knew? I guess I do now. They kept me hopped up on demerol and anti nausea meds – I was feeling VERY nauseated – NOT fun, before finally releasing me about two hours later.

My foot was swaddled in a HUGE bandage and looked liked Bigfoot. Pain was something akin to feeling my foot being ripped in two but the meds kept it on the duller side. More pressing for me were the waves of nausea. I did throw up as a parting gift on my way out the door, wrapped in my boot and with a pair of crutches to aid me along.

I’d love to say when I got home the nausea and pain subsided. They didn’t. First order of business was to get new pain meds. Doctor had prescribed Vicodin but I’m allergic to that (joy) so he switched it out for Percocet and my friend had to run down and pick up the prescription. I probably got home around noon on Friday and continued to pretty much throw up the rest of the afternoon and early evening. Sorry, but it’s true. The pain was also reaching excruciating levels because I couldn’t keep the pain meds down. NOT fun.

Somehow, though, in my warped mind I was more than willing to take on the pain as long as the nausea and vomiting stopped. They didn’t – well not till about 7 p.m. and that was a RELIEF.

So how did the next day go? Stick around….

Anyway, by the time I was 14, I was covering up my bunions in the same way most teenagers were covering up zits. Except I was trying to cover both. Curse number two… my older sister has perfect feet. So perfect, that people used to say she should be a foot model. She’s not, but that still was cold comfort to me and my ugly toes. Oh, plus I appeared to have had my feet bound as a child – although I’m told that wasn’t the case. Still, my left foot is a whopping size 4.5 and my right is a 5. I buy a lot of shoes in the children’s department or Chinatown. Oh, and I’m 5’5″ tall. Cursed, I know.

Truthfully, I learned to get used to my bunions. I never contemplated surgery because they didn’t hurt me and  I had heard horror stories about the pain involved. So I lived with them and they lived with me. Until…

A year ago they became ridiculously painful – the left far more so than the right. They hurt when I walked in shoes or not in shoes. They hurt when I wasn’t walking. They hurt when I was sitting. They woke me up in the night sometimes the pain was so bad. They hurt while I was SLEEPING!!!!

Of course I procrastinated, but as the year wore on and I could no longer exercise or walk more than a block without being in abject agony, I knew it was time to seek a surgeon to wield his knife. Ugh. I’d tried shoes, supports, drugs, cursing, praying. Surgery was clearly the option.

I’m grateful I found Dr. Melvin Nutig in Beverly Hills. Actually I found his partner who said “I don’t do feet, but my partner does…” I chose an orthopedic surgeon. I know there’s a lot of debate about surgeon vs. podiatrist. I don’t know, I wanted an orthopedic surgeon. I think it’s just a personal choice. Go with what works for you – get several opinions. I was happy and felt comfortable with Nutig so he was “my man”

Here is why procrastination is a BAD THING – at least when it comes to bunions. I’d left mine so late that a simple bunionectomy would not do for me. Oh no. I required a series of procedures that would win a Scrabble tournament in one fell swoop. Dr. Nutig told me I required:

• A bunionectomy
• A Proximal Metatarsal Osteotomy and
• A Crescentic Osteotomy

Yep, all THREE!!!! Hooray for me. What did this mean? a) removing the bunion, b) straightening the big toe (with a pin and a screw – that remains there permanently), realigning the tendons to keep my big toe straight, and chopping off those pretty bumps – the hallux valgus bunions – never a better term for those unsightly, ugly bumps.

In case you missed it, that’s three chops, three cuts, three sets of stitches and breaks in three places in my foot. And both feet needed doing!

We decided to start with the left foot as that was the most painful and we scheduled the surgery two weeks hence. Got all my pre-ops done and headed off to surgery. General anesthesia was needed for this surgery as it was a two hour procedure. I was grateful in a way as I really didn’t want to be awake – even if sedated – to witness or hear the slicing of bones and tendons. NO thank you…

Next up – DA SURGERY and its aftermath….

Here’s a pic of my feet pre-op….and the surgical boot I was given ahead of the surgery, to wear after the operation, obviously, not before it.

Feet - pre-surgery

Das Boot!

Here’s hoping this blog will help others. For now, onwards and upwards – at least on crutches!